Guilt

"Inhibition doesn't grow on trees, you know -- takes patience, takes concentration, takes a dedicated and self-sacrificing parent and a hard-working attentive little child to create in only a few years' time a really constrained and tight-ass human being."
- Philip Roth

So if I end up like The Monkey it will be my father's fault.


Here's something else I relate to:
"The coincidences of dreams, the symbols, the terrifying laughable situations, the oddly ominous banalities, the accidents and humiliations, the bizarrely appropriate strokes of luck or misfortune that other people experience with their eyes shut, I get with mine open! ... I have a life without latent content. The dream thing happens!"

My reaction to the lowly and simple -- to what is governed by the ego and the id, the selfish and ridiculous -- is ecstasy! I pass judgement, I curse and I rage, but I come. And in the face of butterflies I am frigid. How's that for an indicator of unconscious repressions, eh? I can't get off because I am sincere!


Alright, enough with the psychoanalytic melodrama. Frida Kahlo said "I used to drink to drown my sorrow, but it learned to swim." Everything is therapeutic and every therapy is limited.